In our twenties, we are all guilty of feeling invincible, like nothing can happen to us. Not me, we tell ourselves. Those sorts of things happen to other people. Older people.
There I lay in the ER with wires hooked up to me. Could this be happening? Was I that person lying on that cold bed, while Doctors hurriedly worked around me?
This ER visit wasn't possible. I'm only twenty-seven and in great shape. I don't smoke, I eat healthily, and I go the gym at least three times a week. My head was swimming. I felt like I was dreaming. Then I stared at the beeping machines that filled the room. Lights and noises everywhere, my mind kept spinning.
The pain in my chest felt strange, my arms hurt and the pain kept going up into my neck.
What on Earth was going on? Then as I stared at the machine, suddenly the line went straight, and buzzers sounded everywhere.
As long as I live, I'll never forget the sight of that ominous flat line. It was as if the world went into slow motion, the Doctors and Nurses looked terrified.
My mind quickly grasped the moment as I realized, I was dead. Or at least my heart had stopped beating, but I could see everyone hurrying. Then to my horror, I saw a Nurse rush into the room with what I knew was a crash cart. Next the paddles. My mind screamed, oh my God.
Suddenly a horrid pain shot through my whole body, nearly causing me to jerk from the table. Instantly the line began to move, but all I could focus on was I had died. If only for a moment I had died.
That felt like the worst day of my life. Thoughts of my baby girls and my husband kept my mind focusing on making my heart beat, willing it to continue beat after beat.
Finally, I was feeling better, and the Doctors crowded around me. Somehow, here I lay on the verge of a massive heart attack. That was something that happened to people who weren't healthy, who didn't exercise or eat right. Not me. The Doctors were as baffled as I was.
The next year I spent undergoing frequent testing, in hopes that the problem could be isolated. Cardiac catheterization performed in the attempt to see if there was any blockage in my veins. But none was found. I wore machines called event detectors for 30 days at a time in the hopes a cause could be spotted.
When my heart would mysteriously skip beats, the device automatically called an ambulance. It happened so frequently that I was on a first name basis with the EMTs. Still, no one could tell me exactly what was wrong. They continually said they knew I was sick but didn't know why.
When nearly two years had passed with countless EKGs, monitors, and numerous trips to the ER, they finally came to the conclusion it was a severe case of arrhythmia.
At least now that I knew kind of what was wrong I began to focus on my mission of healing. The Doctors cut my caffeine intact down to virtually zero. I will be honest giving up soda was tough. But I have never been a coffee drinker, so I was good there.
I continue to walk a lot, trying to do at least 2 miles a day and I eat lots of fruit and veggies. My red meat consumption is minimal, and I watch the amount of sodium in my foods as well.
It's been quite a few years since the event happened, but I try to remember every day how lucky I am. Especially when I see others who aren't as fortunate.
But the fear remains every day that the tightness in my chest will be the big one. Funniest thing that the Doctors wanted me to do was to live stress-free. How hilarious, I'm married with kids. It's not going to happen.
Smile, laugh as often as possible. Eat healthily and exercise, keep a close eye on your heart health. Next time it could be you.
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