It is fabulous to have such an amazing son, but he is my little miracle. After I had given birth to his sister, Heather, I could not have any more children. That was devastating to me because growing up I imagined having MANY children and I would have taken an entire house full. Now, I never really wanted to go as far as the Duggars with their insanely large family, but I wanted a large family.
It wasn't easy for me, cause we tried a long time before my first daughter was born. Being a mom was the greatest thing I ever accomplished, and I have loved it immensely. Then, two was all I could they thought I could have and it took me some time to get a grip on that. I finally did and never gave it another thought.
Then, the shocking thing happened. My Mama died. It was so hard to have that hole in my life that losing her had left and I prayed for strength to get over the intense pain. That was when the blessing occurred.
I wasn't feeling well, and I knew I probably had a kidney infection, so a trip to the doctor was necessary. Walking into the room, the doctor looked me in the face and told me he had good news and bad news. I was a little scared because I was still dealing with some serious heart problems. It hadn't been but a year or so that I had suffered what they thought was a stroke.
For months I went from specialist to specialist while they tried to make me better. Each of them gave the same response, "We know you are sick, but we don't know why." So life moved on as I learned to deal with my heart problems. Afib wanted to rule my life, but somehow it didn't.
So I sat in a scared state as the doctor began his diagnosis. Well, he said first you have a kidney infection. Okay, I laughed and told him I knew that. And he told me you're pregnant.
What? I couldn't believe it. They said I couldn't but could this be true? I was in such shock that it didn't hit me for a while. I was going to have another baby! Wow, miracles do happen.
My oldest would be okay with the news, I thought. I was terrified to tell Heather. She had said to me for a few years that she never wanted me to adopt a kid or have any more, because in her words "no one loves the middle child."
I was terrified, how would I look into those big blue eyes and tell her she was going to be the middle child? I cried tears of happiness and tears of sadness. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt one of my kids. I love the so much and would do anything for them. Still, this pregnancy felt like a gift from God, and I was so excited.
Although I was scared to tell her I knew I had to, it wasn't like this was something I could hide. And you know how things in life don't go like you think they will? Well, this was most definitely one of those times. Because strange enough when we told Heather the reaction was entirely different. She was thrilled to be someone's big sister. And she has been the best big sister anyone could ever dream of having.
The story was much different for her older sister. I heard many things from her, including "how could you? You know how to prevent that? What were you thinking?"
I never imagined that getting pregnant would be such an embarrassment to a teenage girl. But it seemed to have been. While this pregnancy appears to be a gift from God for me, it was a much different thing for her. I don't think she ever forgave me for what she felt was the ruination of her life.
This pregnancy yielded me the most remarkable young man for a son. I couldn't have imagined a perfect little boy than Cole. Even his obsessive compulsive tendencies which we embrace completely make a young man that is beyond belief.
He has reached a height like my dad, totally towering over the rest of us and a voice that sounds like my dad. This little boy that used to introduce himself as 'the surprise' has added so much to my life that I could never repay the blessings entirely.
When I prayed for strength to handle the loss of my Mama I had no idea that this little man would step in just in time to fill the hole that losing Daddy left as well. I lost both of them but I know they sent Cole to me and I see both of their spirits in him every day.
Being a mother is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I say thanks every second of every day.
So to Nicholas Cole, I say Happy Birthday my little man, my little surprise, my joy, my life, and a wonderful young man. You are more than any mother could hope for. I love you with my heart, my soul, and everything in between. My, this day be all you deserve and more.
